Fearful and Terrified people in Duck Tours ‘Fear and Terror’ ordeal

by philapilus
A DUKW on a tour of London, in the Thames just...

This one isn’t on fire, but if it was there would be FEAR and TERROR

The London amphibious bus tour operator, Duck Tours, has suspended the river component of its tours after one of its craft caught fire whilst in the Thames yesterday.

‘Fear and Terror’

Newspapers were quick to explain to people reading them that the people on board the vehicle had experienced ‘Fear and Terror’, rather than other emotions, such as enjoyment, hunger, enthusiasm or ennui.

‘Fear and terror gripped the passengers as the flames rose around them’ reported the newspaper that you read if you wear ties to work, whilst ‘The passengers’ faces were filled with fear and terror’ according to the newspaper that you read if you don’t.

‘FEAR and TERROR!’ said the woman with her tits out in the pretend newspaper, while the angry paper said ‘TERROR AND FEAR! AQUATIC APOCALYPSE! IMMIGRANTS TO BLAME!’

The Daily Express meanwhile ran with ‘DIANA STILL DEAD’

‘Terror and Fear’

A tourist who had been on the busboat said “We were terrified! And afraid. Overall I would say the emotions we experienced were terror and fear. And also we got wet when we jumped in the river. But I’m not sure that counts as an emotion?”

‘Terrified and Afraid’

As journalists tried to help everyday people to understand what it might be like to be afraid and/or terrified, someone who’d thought about it for a second said “What a shit thing to happen to anyone. I feel bad for them. But can we possibly just have five fucking minutes without someone telling us how ‘Terrified and Afraid’ the passengers were?

‘”Only I think I’ve sort of grasped that bit already.”

%d bloggers like this: