Archive for September 24th, 2013

September 24, 2013

Irish archaeologists find body of world’s earliest known drunk

by philapilus
English: The "Galagh Man", a bog bod...

‘Feck, where’s me pint gone?’ he carved on a slate as he sank

Scientists in Ireland have confirmed that the bog body known as ‘Cashel Man’ is the world’s oldest discovered alcoholic to date.

Protected both by the renowned preserving effects of peat and “A high-enough level of blood-alcohol to fuel a space rocket”, the body found in Cashel bog is over 4000 years old.

Professor Paddy O’Shamrock, of the Guinness University of Drink in Dublin, said”Bedad if we didn’t just find de oldest drunk fella in de world! Dis man was having a right old craic down at de pub while all dem

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September 24, 2013

Miliband unveils ambitious plan for massive energy price hike in 2017

by philapilus
Ed Milliband MP speaking at the Labour Party c...

“If I go to my Special Imagination Place I can see it all now; people thronging the streets, cheering, and shouting my name. Wouldn’t it be wonderful?”

Ed Miliband today wowed the audience at the Labour conference in Brighton, when he outlined a policy that he would implement, were he living in an alternate reality where he stood even a remote chance of winning the 2015 election.

Miliband said that under a new Labour government, “Energy firms would be told not to increase prices for two whole years, which they would obviously pay for by cutting jobs and reducing investment in infrastructure.

“Then, in 2017 when the price freeze ends, they can go absolutely mental and charge a stupendous amount, which consumers will have to pay to avoid blackouts and freezing to death come wintertime.”

The Labour leader kept his audience enthused and appreciative for an hour, describing several other plans for his magical dream universe, ranging from the totally impossible to the wholly

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