Shock as Ministry for killing thousands of people puts down small number of dogs

by philapilus
Trained attack dog Samo leaps forward toward a...

They should be distributed amongst the nation’s nurseries for toddlers to play with

Britons were incensed to learn this week that the Ministry of Defence – the government department responsible for the deaths of thousands upon thousands of people through our involvement in various wars, militarily imposed sanctions and bombing raids – has also humanely ended the lives of some dogs.

A campaign in the Sun newspaper has helped the UK to focus its fury and outrage, with it’s revelation that the MoD has put down as many as 288 dogs in the last three years.

A spokesperson for the MoD, Percy Spoke said “These dogs perform vital military roles, for which they are specially trained. But sadly this makes them a bit unsuitable for civvy life.

“For instance, rather than allowing babies to cuddle them, or old men to pat them on the head whilst taking a walk in the park, they are more likely to take your fucking arm off.

“Given that there are already almost 7000 serious dog attacks on people in the UK per year (with some estimates suggesting as many as 28,000 overall domestic dog attacks), we thought that loosing trained killers into the population at large once they reach the ‘crazy old war veteran’ stage might not be, you know, the very best plan ever.”

But unemployed dog commenter, Tim Twanks said “I’ve got seven dogs, all of ’em real beauties. So what if they occasionally go for small kids, mess on the street, bark all night and once attacked the old lady next door till she soiled herself? They’re so sweet! Look at their little faces!

“I don’t give a fuck about Iraqis or Afghanis or whatever those overseas bastards are called, because I hear they are somehow connected to 9/11 when a terrorist called Obama bombed the Eiffel Tower, or something.

“But killing a handful of dogs?! What is this fucking country coming to?”

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