Ancient wreck of the Costa Concordia raised

by philapilus
English: Costa Concordia Polski: Statek pasaże...

Not suitable for road travel

Marine archaeologists and salvage experts have succeeded in bringing one of Italy’s most famous shipwrwecks to the surface.

The Costa Concordia was the largest ever Italian cruiser at the time it was built , and was nicknamed ‘the unsinkable’.

But on a pleasure cruise around the Mediterranean, the vessel struck a rock and capsized, after Captain Francesco Schettino forgot he was in charge of a ship and tried to sail across Isola del Giglio. Over thirty people died, but not Schettino, who ensured he got off the vessel long before many of the remaining passengers, earning himself an enduring reputation as “A fucking cowardly arsehole”.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough School of Sunken Ships, said “The raising of this ancient wreck has been a triumph of marine salvage. The Costa Concordia will provide an unrivalled opportunity to learn all about our ancestors, and will be like a time-capsule – a window onto what life was like in 2012.

“The ship will now be moved to a purpose-built museum, which will be full of artefacts recovered from the wreck, many of which will be surprising for visitors, and will challenge our view of the past.

“For instance, what could this thing found in one of the female passenger’s cabins have been used for? It’s a long, tapering, cylinder, like a torch handle, but has no light, and when you press the on-switch it vibrates. What could it possibly be? Fascinating!”

There will also be an amusement park, which promoters promise will be “in incredibly poor taste” where visitors can go on all sorts of rides of the tipping-you-over-and-dropping-you-into-water sort.

There will even be a shooting gallery, a 1/100th scale cross-section of the ship. Children can use real airguns to try and hit weasels dressed in captains uniforms before they escape from the model and into the crowds.

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