Spanish Armada makes routine visit to Britain

by philapilus
English: The Spanish Armada.

Definitely not an overreaction at all.

A huge fleet of Spanish warships commanded by the Duke of Medina Sidonia will make a routine visit to the UK as part of an “Ordinary training exercise”.

As tensions between Britain and Spain increase over Gibraltar, both countries have been careful to insist that the deployment of a massive, heavily armed naval force is a purely run of the mill occurrence.

Spain has accused Gibraltar of creating an artificial concrete reef to restrict Spanish fishing, and threatened increasing border controls. The UK responded by publically backing Gibraltar’s sovereignty.

David Cameron said “International relations these days between Britain and our European partners are entirely peaceful. My deployment of the warship HMS Westminster to Gibraltar was not an act of belligerence.

“As to accusations of bellicosity, with regards to the so-called slogan painted on the side of the ship, I refute them entirely.

“It’s a new type of naval camouflage pattern we are trialling, that just happens – completely coincidentally – to look a lot like the English phrase ‘Come and ‘ave a go if you fink you’re ‘ard enough’. Utter coincidence.”

Royal Navy Commander-in-Chief, Rear-Admiral of Vice Sir Lesley Fanshawe-Haines-Haines, said “The Spanish Armada heading for Britain will be subject to a completely routine, non-sabre-rattling, naval interception in the English Channel, during which both fleets are likely to let loose completely routine broadsides at one another.”

Experts insist that this completely routine engagement is nothing to worry about however, especially as Spain is so bankrupt it can’t afford any ammunition, and the UK has got rid of most of its navy due to austerity measures.

The actual completely routine clash will therefore consist of about seven pedaloes meeting near the Isle of Wight, with a handful of sailors shouting completely routine obscenities at one another through cupped hands. Then everyone will go home for tea.

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