Royal baby’s name – speculation

by philapilus
Prince Harry helps promote Britain at New York...

“Yah, my money’s on ‘William Junior’; Kate’s always been in need of a little extra Willy…*SNORT SNORT*”

As the entire world ponders over what William and Kate are going to name their baby – and in the absence of any actual information – we’re spinelessly copying every other mighty news organ, and bringing you some of the meaningless speculations of people you’ve heard of. And pretending that it’s news.

Ex ball-kicker Gary Lineker: “I am hoping they are going to call him ‘Liono’. He was definitely the best Thundercat.”

Journalist Polly Toynbee: “If they have any souls whatsoever, these scrounging elitist bastards should have the honesty and moral decency to call their child ‘Scrounging Elitist Bastard’.”

Large Comedienne Dawn French: “I bet no-one’s thought of this; how about ‘Kong’? So when he grows up, he’ll be…wait for it…KING KONG! AHAHAHAHA! Brilliant eh? See? I’ve still got it!”

Art critic Brian Sewell: “For God’s sake please let them christen this child with a proper name. No more of this ‘Kai’ or ‘Storm’, or any other modern nonsense. Something with a touch of je ne sais quoi and grandeur, but without tasteless ostentation; how about ‘Crispin Sebastien’?”

Singer Ozzy Osbourne: “I think they should call it ‘Damien Thorn’. Rock n Roll, eh? What a character I am, eh? Hang on…what did you ask me again?”

Mobile corporate endorsement, David Beckham: “He should be called Ralph Lauren, or Coca-Cola. Or maybe Nike. Right, that should pay for my holidays, I’m off.”

Oleaginous Little Prick George Osborne: “How about Gideon?”

Genius Stephen Hawking: “Help I’m stuck on repeat Help I’m stuck on repeat Help I’m stuck on repeat…”

Egomaniac Robbie Williams: “They have to go with ‘Robbie’, obviously! Anything but Gary.”

Decibel Tester Brian Blessed:


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