Royal baby declines to comment on ‘immigrants go home’ campaign

by philapilus
Royal baby cam Lindo Wing London

The police stand by to begin evicting immigrants the second the baby gives the nod. Unless it’s one of those nods babies do because they can’t hold their heads up properly.

The infant son of Prince William and Princess Catherine declined to comment this morning over the announcement that several London councils are introducing measures to persuade illegal immigrants to leave the UK.

The crowd of journalists encamped outside St Mary’s hospital in Paddington clamoured for a statement from the baby, as plans for a targeted ‘Fuck Off Back Home’ advertising campaign were unveiled.

Barnet, Hounslow, Barking and Dagenham, Ealing, Brent and Redbridge will be using leaflets, posters and newspaper ads to make it perfectly clear to illegal immigrants that they are not at all welcome, and need to leave. Now.

Percy Spoke, spokesperson for the campaign, said “We’ve got some great stuff; leaflets with ‘Get out of it you cunts’ printed in 27 languages, a number people can text to have abusive messages sent to them 24 hours a day, and – my personal favourite – a poster with a close-up picture of a fuming skinhead’s face. He’s got a swastika on his forehead and a speech bubble which says ‘You’ve got FIVE FUCKING SECONDS to get out of my country…’

“That one is going to be plastered all over a fleet of vans, which will be driven around slowly just behind suspected illegal immigrants wherever they go.”

The young prince did not comment however on any of the proposed measures, although some of the more scatologically minded gutter press have been interpreting a particularly noxious bowel-movement as a sign of support.

The BBC’s Susanna Reid said “We need to know how our future king feels about this kind of thing, and we need to know right now.

“Is the child going to display a liberal, more multi-cultural attitude that befits the 21st century, or is it going to be like 1982 all over again, with Prince Phillip driving around in a carriage waving a ‘PAKIS GO HOME!’ banner?

“It’s important.”

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