Men at barbecues “Worse than the SS”

by philapilus
Some chicken, pork and corn in the barbeque

‘Innocent meal, or an excuse to wave your cock at people?’

New research published in the Guardian, Britain’s leading paper for self-flagellants, suggests that men who cook at barbecues are on the verge of unleashing a new Shoah.

In an article published today, columnist Mike Ock explains how the grilling of meat turns men into rabid sexists and fascist rapist-murderers, because of something to do with their penises.

“Men who cook steaks over charcoal, are participating in an orgiastic indulgence of phallocentricity.” said Ock.

“Even the lexicon of the so-called ‘harmless’ barbecue is redolent with misyogyny; ‘sausage’, chicken ‘breast’, ‘spitroasting’. The list goes on.

“Not forgetting of course that most heinous of meat-based terminological designations; the ‘rib’. You know; the rib? Adam’s rib? The rib that ‘God’ made Eve from, the birth of Eve as a lesser by-product of dominant man, her secondary and dependent existence as dominated slave to man.

“Honestly, if you’re going to have a barbecue you might just as well go out and start raping people in the street. And then kill them. And then rape the corpses.”

Ock goes on to liken barbecue charcoal to the fires of the holocaust, and makes several other points which have been hailed by sociological experts as “unbelievably fuckwitted”.

Ock’s neighbour, John Peanut, said “I really don’t know what the problem is. It’s just a bit of fun outdoors, where you get to pretend to be a hunter-gatherer for a couple of hours. No one takes it seriously, do they?

“Mind you, I went to Mike’s for a barbecue last summer, and he totally fucked it up and burnt everything to a crisp, then ran inside crying.

“I guess that means he can’t get an erection or something?”

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