African-Americans to be shot on sight as a precaution

by philapilus
skittles

Trayvon Martin was heavily armed with a pack of these.

The US government is considering using the shooting of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman as the basis for new ‘better safe than sorry’ legislation, allowing people to open fire on black teenagers who make them nervous.

Zimmerman spotted Martin carrying groceries, and his suspicions were aroused when he noticed the boy wasn’t white. Following Martin in his car, he then rang police to report sighting “a suspicious darkie carrying suspicious groceries whilst being suspiciously black”.

Armed with a pistol Zimmerman then left his vehicle, and continued following Martin on foot, despite being told by police despatch “You don’t need to do that, sir, we’ve got our own professional people for hassling niggers.”

In an ensuing altercation, Zimmerman shot Martin dead, but was found not guilty of murder, as he clearly acted in self-defence, and Trayvon Martin was clearly black.

The US Supreme Court has called for a law enshrining the stalking and shooting of all black teenagers, just in case they commit an act of blackness against, or in the vicinity of, non-black people.

Billy-Bob Dickwad, Zimmerman’s lawyer, said “Hotdamn he done got away with it! We allus should be shootin’ negroes jus’ in case they’em gon’  scare our women, y’all. An’ also, I been hearin’ where they got real big dicks, y’all and dang it well that jes’ ain’t fair!””

Firearm sales went up 500% in the state of Florida this morning, with 87% of the white population saying they anticipated having to deal with dangerously black people walking around being black in the very near future.

President Barack Obama called for calm and said “Jesus Christ, I almost got shot in bed by my own security services this morning. They said they heard a suspicious noise like black snoring, and noticed on entering the room that I happened to be black.

“They said that as I was president they’d give me the benefit of the doubt just this once, but I’d better not do it again.”

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