Governor of Bank of England “not George Clooney after all”

by philapilus
George Clooney @ The Westin Poinsett Hotel, Gr...

“Seriously UK; your chancellor is a fucking tool!”

Mark Carney got off to an awkward start as Sir Mervyn King’s replacement today, when it transpired his appointment was a case of mistaken identity.

The new governor of the Bank of England was surprised on getting to the office to find the entire workforce standing in the street holding ‘We love you George’ banners.

No one paid any attention to Carney at all, until a security guard tried to move him along, saying “Excuse me sir, we’re expecting the new boss any moment and you’re in the way.”

After a lengthy exchange with senior bank figures, which involved Carney having to show his passport and letter of appointment, he was finally allowed in, and the disgruntled staff went back to work.

A spokesperson for the bank said “In making his choice of new governor, George Osborne was unfortunately confused by the fact that Mr Carney is so frequently compared to Mr Clooney.

“It appears the chancellor assumed that they were one and the same person. Mr Osborne is after all – how can I say this politely? – a massive fuckwit.”

After a panicked call to the surprised filmstar this morning, the chancellor realised his mistake, and reluctantly had to welcome Carney to the post.

Mark Carney said “I suppose I should have wondered a bit more about why Osborne was so desperate to have me; side-stepping transparency rules, re-writing application procedures, and begging me to take the job in a way that would be considered ignominious, if he wasn’t already as mired in ignominy as is humanly possible.

“The request for a signed photo of me in my underwear certainly should have tipped me off. Plus, in the interview he kept fawning over me sycophantically, and going on about how I was one of the only people capable of making him cry.

“I thought he was just being British.”

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