Archive for July 1st, 2013

July 1, 2013

Governor of Bank of England “not George Clooney after all”

by philapilus
George Clooney @ The Westin Poinsett Hotel, Gr...

“Seriously UK; your chancellor is a fucking tool!”

Mark Carney got off to an awkward start as Sir Mervyn King’s replacement today, when it transpired his appointment was a case of mistaken identity.

The new governor of the Bank of England was surprised on getting to the office to find the entire workforce standing in the street holding ‘We love you George’ banners.

No one paid any attention to Carney at all, until a security guard tried to move him along, saying “Excuse me sir, we’re expecting the new boss any moment and you’re in the way.”

After a lengthy

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July 1, 2013

Cameron ‘powerless’ to cancel deliveries of caviar

by philapilus


English: Gold bars created by Agnico-Eagle

“Would you like a cherry on top of that, sir?”

It has emerged today that the prime minister is unable to prevent the recommendations of the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority that MPs “Should help themselves to basically anything they want.”

Ipsa, which was set up in the aftermath of the expenses scandal, says that the only way to stop MPs stealing public money, is to give them a whopping 15% pay-hike, taking a backbencher’s salary to nearly £75k.

David Cameron has strongly criticised the rise in salaries, on the grounds that he had been hoping the public might forget just what greedy shits MPs are.

He is expected to

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