Satan “very excited” about meeting FGM perpetrators

by philapilus
Gustave Doré, Depiction of Satan, the antagoni...

“Jesus Christ; and people say I’M bad?!”

24/06/2013

Lucifer, the Son of Perdition and Ruler of the Abyss, said this morning that he was thoroughly looking forward to receiving into Hell the people who subjected a 7 year old girl to female genital mutilation (FGM).

After reading that in the last 2 years alone the NHS has treated 1700 women who have suffered the ritual cutting, His Dark Satanic Majesty Beelzebub announced “I am going to have a whale of a time entertaining myself with these fuckers for the rest of eternity.

“Seriously, I mean I have some really horrible stuff going on down here 24/7, but I am going to find something new for these cunts.

“I am convening a brainstorming meeting with the Demon Guild of Torturers to work on some very nasty shit indeed. We’re really going to ‘blue-sky’ it – or rather, ‘blood-red-sky-with-sulphorous-clouds-raining-hellfire’ it, and come up with the most monstrously horrible punishments and torments imaginable.”

The NHS and NSPCC have said that the girls and women treated for FGM are only the visible part of a much wider problem, which is often successfully covered up within the African, Middle-eastern and Asian religious communities where it takes place.

Satan said “The Muslims and Christians who perform this child abuse see it as part of their cultural practise. I can’t wait to introduce them to the cultural traditions we have down here.”

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