“Sassy robot butler” to feature in next series of Downton Abbey

by articulatedsheep

ITV have announced that, in a shakeup to their approach to Sunday evening snorefest Downton Abbey, a new character will be introduced in the form of Robby, a wisecracking robot whose hilarious hijinks will have audiences “rolling in the aisles”, according to commissioning editor Derek Twat.

Robby, whose presence in the new series will be entirely unexplained, will also be at the centre of a heartwarming storyline in which he will teach Maggie Smith’s Dowager Duchess of Crawley the true meaning of Christmas.

“The Yanks lap this shit up.” said Downton creator Julian Fellowes. “It was either this or a cartoon dog, and the robot won out because… well, just think of all the huge films and TV series featuring robot butlers. Star Wars, Rocky IV, Wall Street. The list is endless. Well, I say endless, those are the only ones I can think of. But still.”

It is also expected that the new series will begin with Lady Mary Crawley waking groggily in her bed, and then going to the bathroom wherupon she is shocked to discover her late husband Matthew, played by Dan Stevens, in the shower, hence revealing that the entirety of the 2012 Christmas special was a dream.

Finally, a new central character will be introduced. Played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Lord Rockington will be a hard-as-nails street racer from Detroit who is also somehow the scion of one of the finest aristocratic families in England. He will arrive at Downton at the invitation of the Earl of Grantham, portrayed by Hugh Bonneville. Of the unlikely friendship, Fellowes says, “Oh, I don’t know. They met in the war or some shit. Do you know how much they pay me for this? I just churn it out these days – I honestly could not give a fuck.”

Lord Rockington and Robby the robot will team up to solve a different crime every episode, with the programme being renamed The Rockington Mysteries.

 

 

 

 

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