Producers of Kick-Ass 2 disavow Jim Carrey

by philapilus

24/06/2013

Jim Carrey

This is Carrey subtly pretending he can’t hear, for comedic effect. AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA. Ahaha. Aha. Ha.

The makers of comic book movie Kick-Ass 2 have apologised for involving Jim Carrey with their project, and announced that they can no longer, in all good conscience, support the excessive presence of the overacting, unfunny comedian in their film.

Executive producer and creator of the comic, Mark Millar, said today “You know, we got Jim involved in the movie, but that was a mistake. I don’t think I considered at the time just how unpleasant and humorless he really is. It’s all very well making a very violent film, but when you have constant and unrestrained acts of Carreyness, you start to lose sight of your own moral compass.

“There’s an obvious correlation between children watching self-obsessed pillocks making nauseatingly awful attempts to be ‘zany’, and then going out and perpetrating copycat acts of forced ‘kraziness’.

“I have come to the conclusion that whilst things like screen-violence obviously have no effect on anyone, watching complete wankers prance around and overact is destroying the very foundations of our society. Movies that feature excessive awfulness are teaching the younger generation that they can engage in consequenceless acts of bollock-achingly-bad shiteness. They are becoming desensitized to the hideous perils of rubber-faced twats yelling pisspoor jokes at 110 decibels. Nothing less than the future of our species could be at stake.”

Jim Carrey responded by making incredibly annoying noises for fifteen minutes, rolling his eyes, zanily leaping about, waving his arms wildly, and generally pretending to be possessed by an ancient, magical Wanker-spirit.

A spokesperson for everyone in the world said “What a fucking moron.”

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