Wanker of the Week: Nigel Farage

by philapilus
Nick Farage Interviev

“I would like to see your fanny, but failing that, please will you vote for me?”

Nominated by:

Everyone.

Nominated for:

Being Nigel Farage.

TMB would like to state that in all fairness we feel we should not reflect political biases. Therefore despite the fact that, due to voting-patterns of our readers which are beyond our control, Farage is named our ‘Wanker of the Week’, we will also provide some positive coverage for the flamboyant politician.

Nigel Farage has said that every mention of himself or his party by senior tories is useful publicity, even if what is said is negative. Therefore we would like to offer senior conservatives some helpful phrases which we hope will give Ukip a really good chance in today’s county council elections. Good luck Nigel!!

“Nigel Farage is a dick”

“Nigel Farage is a cock”

“Nigel Farage is a joke”

“Nigel Farage is a twat”

“Nigel Farage is an idiot”

“Nigel Farage is a lunatic”

“Nigel Farage is a cunt”

“Nigel Farage is a nob-end”

“Nigel Farage is a waste of space”

“Nigel Farage is a small ball of smeg”

“Nigel Farage is a prick”

“Nigel Farage is like a large ball of pubic hair which has collected in the U-bend of your bath pipe, matted with the grease, dirt, and dead skin wiped off your body, which, when finally removed with an industrial plunger, makes the whole house smell so bad that you have to go on holiday for three weeks and get Environmental Services in.”

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TMB would like to make it clear that we in no way endorse the content of any of the above statements, and we are only making them in order to give Farage and all the other brilliant dickwads at Ukip as much support as we possibly can.

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