Miners “Still a bunch of arses”

by philapilus
Arthur Scargill addresing Dublin May Day March

No-one’s saying Arthur shouldn’t dance on her grave; they’re just sort of hoping he slips and breaks his neck while he’s at it.

In an attempt to provide balanced coverage of the response to Margaret Thatcher’s death, TV channels have broadcast many interviews with former miners – all of which have reminded Britain that the NUM was a right pain in the arse.

Experts have said that footage of miners’ revolting, and especially clips showing Arthur Scargill even momentarily, are threatening to drive the country sharply to the right. Well, further to the right.

Wendy Nailinthehead, a housewife from Bracknell, said “When I was growing up in the 80s I learned that the reason for all the poverty and misery around me was Margaret Thatcher. I never understood how anyone could be so cruel to ordinary working people.

“And I know what she did was massively brutal and merciless, and I’m not in the least saying that she was right. But my god those bitter old fuckers with their grating, nasally, Northern accents, going on and on about how they haven’t worked in thirty years… I’m beginning to think that if I was her I’d have just nuked Yorkshire.”

Whilst levels of social cohesion and economic equality nosedived during her premiership, and her unpopularity grew to the extent that she is now a hate-figure to people not even born till she was ousted, many observers agree that “If it came to a choice between fucking the country over, or having to spend even ten minutes listening to those whinging bastards, just tattoo TINA across my forehead, ok?”

Pip Pipeline, a plumber from Plumstead, said “It’s Catch 22; much as I hated her, if I say that out loud then I am basically publically agreeing with a bunch of George Galloways. Please just shoot me in the face.”

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