News Briefs: Music fans mourn Bieber’s recovery

by philapilus
A male boxer brief

We are so subtle

The crowd attending Justin Bieber’s concert last night were said to be distraught, when it transpired that the young pop singer had not only recovered from his onstage fainting spell, but would actually continue performing.

The audience of children, composed equally of those being punished by their parents, and those on community service, cheered maniacally as Bieber collapsed.

Amy Buttox, a fourth-form pupil at Dairylea Girls School in Cheddar, said “It was wonderful, all my dreams came true. I screamed and screamed with delight. But then a doctor came out and made Justin all better, and he insisted on finishing the concert. We were weeping with despair.”

She finished with a tearful plea “Mum, dad, if you’re listening; I am so sorry, I will never ever steal from you again. Just please, please never make me sit through another Bieber concert, I’m begging you.”

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