Grantham Museum confirms headless Thatcher statue

by philapilus
former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatche...

Who wouldn’t want to do a big steaming one right on that face?

A museum in Margaret Thatcher’s Lincolnshire home town has announced its intention to commission a decapitated statue of the former conservative prime minister.

The statue’s head will be placed alongside it in a porcelain bucket, which the public will be invited to micturate – or even defecate – upon.

Grantham’s Mayor, Eric Shun, said this morning “I was actually a huge supporter of Lady Thatcher’s, and agreed with her policies entirely, so initially I was against what seemed like a vey disrespectful idea.

“But we talked it over, the town council and the museum, and the more we thought about it, the more we realised that yeah; this is just what people are going to do with it anyway.

“If you put up a statue of her, no matter how well you try to guard it, it is inevitable that the head will be cut off and dumped in a bucket of faeces by the end of the day. Every day.

“By pre-empting this, and putting the statue’s head in a bucket from the outset, we save ourselves from the expensive restoration which would otherwise be required on a nightly basis.”

The museum hopes to put on a permanent exhibition – about Thatcher herself, and life in Britain during her reign – which it promises will be grizzlier than Goya’s Disasters of War, or anything by the Chapman brothers.

Director of the Grantham Museum, Leslie Fanshawe-Haines-Haines, said “We have high hopes that this will be a real crowd-puller. People will come from miles around to show their children the unmitigated horrors of which humankind is capable.

“Also, we’ll have a great range of accompanying merchandise in the gift-shop, from Margaret Thatcher voodoo dolls, to small cakes of urinal-soap carved in the likeness of her disembodied head.

“The mouth will be open in a sort of perpetual scream of horror, and you can pee right into it whilst shouting about the dangers of destroying a nation’s ability to do anything except sell badly thought-out financial packages to one another.”

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