Jury in Pryce case found to be less intelligent than spam

by philapilus
This is Swampyank's copy of "The Jury&quo...

They were all dead before cars were even invented, and they’re still a better choice.

The jury in the case of Vicky Pryce, ex-wife of former cabinet minister Chris Huhne, has been dismissed after the judge discovered that they had spent the entire trial making crayon drawings of monsters eating ice cream.

Furthermore, after 14 hours of deliberation the jury sent Mr Justice Sweeney a picture of a smiling flower they had made with poster paint, and a handwritten note saying “Deer mistr Jujdgg, what is the naim of the womman agayn?”

The judge sent a message back, explaining that the defendant was “Vicky Pryce, you know, the woman you have been hearing about for a fortnight, the one whose husband lied about the speeding offence”.

When there was no response, he summoned a bailiff to find out what was going on, and was told that the jurors were mostly doing colouring-in, apart from one who was having a nap-time in the corner, and two who were arguing over whose turn it was to go in the wendy-house.

In dismissing them Mr Justice Sweeney said “My only regret is that I am not able to have this jury sent to a lab where their brains could be discarded, and their body parts broken up and re-used in medical experiments.”

Vicky Pryce, whose husband – hilariously – is probably going to be jailed, or maybe just pushed off a cliff by Nick Clegg, is going to be retried, and the jury will be replaced with a painting of a jury.

“The painting has already shown a greater understanding of this case,” said Sweeney, “despite the fact that the artist and all the people depicted in it are long since dead. Makes you want to cry, doesn’t it?””

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: