Queen Beatrix’s abdication causes rift in UK Royal Family

by philapilus
English: portrait of HRH Prince Charles Prince...

“I’ll probably be king bythe time you’ve developed the negative!” Charles told the photographer. That was in 1923.

The news that the Queen of the Netherlands is abdicating in favour of her son has furthered tensions between Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth II.

A Buckingham Palace source revealed that upon reading the newspapers at breakfast yesterday morning, the Queen rolled her eyes, and said “Oh, here we go…”

Moments later the Master of the Queen’s Mobile informed Her Majesty that her eldest son was on the line in a hysterical state, alternately shouting and weeping.

The Queen took the phone, and immediately had to hold it at arm’s length whilst Charles harangued her for some seven minutes.

Eventually, she interrupted “Look Cha… Charles will you just… For God’s sake man, SHUT UP! We are not minded to listen to this rubbish whilst we are eating our cornflakes, which will now be soggy. ‘I want doesn’t get’, as the saying goes, and so we royally command you to piss orff.”

So saying she hung up and threw the mobile into a vase of flowers.

Buckingham Palace declined to comment later on leaked news that the Prince of Wales spent the day bombarding Her Majesty with literally thousands of clippings from the papers about Beatrix’s abdication.

These were couriered over by bike one at a time, until the Queen eventually had to come out onto Her balcony and address the huge crowd of delivery cyclists milling below waiting for her signature.

In a rare unscheduled public address, Her Most Gracious Royal Highness called on them to “Fuck off and leave us to our Boggle!”

Whilst the Dutch royalty have a tradition of handing down the crown when the reigning monarch reaches old age, the British king or queen has traditionally clung on to the throne until prized away in rigor mortis, usually with the aid of boltcutters.

The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Lenny Henry, said “Yeah he’s never going to be king is he? Poor bugger. What did he ever do to deserve this?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment and added, “Ahhhh yes, of couse…”

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