Archive for January 17th, 2013

January 17, 2013

Scot Young given free accomodation

by philapilus
A photograph of a cell block in the Wisconsin ...

cosy

After hearing how professional bastard Scot Young was on his uppers, a High Court Judge took pity on the property tycoon yesterday, and handed down an order that he should be given free accomodation at Her Majesty’s Pleasure, for six months.

Mr Justice Moor said “You are standing before me as an impoverished man worth a mere £400m. I am not at all surprised that you have told your estranged wife and children you are unable to give them any maintenance money.

“This sort of case is becoming all too common; fathers who slouch around in baseball caps and tracksuit trousers, knocking up birds and then failing to pay child support.

“But you are on an even lower rung than that. Wearing your pinstripe suit, and clutching your sad little Louis Vuitton bag, I can see the desperation of your situation. I want to help you, and therefore I am going to order that you be given free lodgings for the next six months, in the hope that this gives you time to sort out your finances.”

Since the acrimonious split, Scot Young has only had six years to get his finances in order, and to pay the monthly amount a court decided he should pay, which amounted to a whopping 0.0067 % of his net worth.

His lawyer said “Poor Scot. We are delighted with this verdict. For the first time in years Scot will be able to eat, and sleep in a real bed. Before this he was living off nothing but champagne, but hopefully now he’ll have some decent chow.”

He added “I am really hoping he gets fed sausage on a daily basis.”

TMB is starting an online campaign, to petition the British justice system to keep poor, unfortunate Mr Young in his current accomodation for as long as is humanly possible. Please sign by following this link:

www.keepthetwatinprison.co.uk