Cameron suffers complete breakdown

by philapilus
English: London

Cold, hard, unyielding and unpleasantly metallic-tasting, David Cameron has sometimes been likened to a pompous bronze statue, which makes his climbing of one somewhat ironic

It has been revealed that the man who climbed a statue in Whitehall this afternoon and removed all his clothes was in fact the prime minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, David Cameron.

Police were called at midday when tourists spotted an unknown man climbing onto a statue of Prince George, the Duke of Cambridge, outside the Ministry of Defence.

A large section of Whitehall was cordoned off as he took off his clothes, broke a piece of the statue and then waved his arms about maniacally. Elite Met officers who have special ‘how to cope with male nudity’ training approached him, and eventually convinced him to come down at 14:45 GMT.

But as the man was taken into custody, photographers with telephoto lenses were able to establish that he was in fact David Cameron.

The Number 10 press officer said this afternoon “No comment will be issued until the prime minister has spoken with his lawyer, and his tailor, but I will say that he had been showing signs of great strain earlier this morning.”

Rumours abound in Whitehall that the government’s inability to make an impression in Europe, to fix the economy or to achieve anything at all other than organisational paralysis, have pushed Cameron to the edge.

This is the first time a serving prime minister has climbed a statue and stripped off since Margaret Thatcher went topless and mounted Queen Victoria – an incident that the ER department at Moorfields eye hospital referred to as “their busiest day ever.”

In a bizarre coincidence, later this afternoon another man was seen ascending the same statue and removing his clothes, shouting “Look, I’m important! I’m doing it too! Look at me everybody! Look! Look!”

It has been suggested by some witnesses that this second man was Nick Clegg, desperate for some publicity, but as nobody can remember what he looks like, the report remains unconfirmed.

%d bloggers like this: