Archive for March 25th, 2012

March 25, 2012

Shock at claims that donations in exchange for influence give influence to donors

by philapilus
Pound Sign (£) created with the Nimbus Sans ty...

Money can't buy you Gove - or any other Conservative MP. Probably.

Widespread and very nearly genuine shock was expressed this morning by all three of the major parties, after the Sunday Times published Peter Cruddas’ claims that giving lots of money to the Conservatives made you their bestest new friend.

“Cruddas was secretly filmed by Sunday Times journalists posing as journalists from a different newspaper,” said an unreliable source this morning, “who asked him what kind of access to top Tories could be expected in exchange for sizeable donations to the Conservative party.”

Cruddas’ response, according to a close friend (admittedly not one of Cruddas’s, though) was “Ok; 10 large will get you the PM’s private phone number and lunch; 50 will get you a leisurely afternoon shooting the breeze by the pool with Dave, while Nick Clegg mixes you cocktails; 100 k will give you a romantic candlelit evening with Cameron, and a back-rub from George Osborne; while for a full quarter-mill you get anything and everything you want. And I do mean anything…”

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