“No, we’re not going to fucking Ecobuild” say harassed public sector workers

by articulatedsheep

Responding to a ceaseless tide of publicity material circulated to promote last week’s Ecobuild conference in central London, the UNISON, PCS and GMB unions have issued a joint statement to the conference organisers.

“Our members would like to make it clear,” says the statement, “that no, we do not intend to go to Ecobuild. Yes, we are aware that it is going on. Yes, you have very successfully achieved ‘market penetration with potential delegates’ by putting an insert into every single fucking trade paper and magazine with even a tangential relevance to people involved in sustainable development. Yes, well done for managing to send seemingly billions of marketing e-mails on the subject on an almost hourly basis. Yes, all this has even provoked us, in darker moments, to think, ‘Hmm, maybe we should go to this Ecobuild thing, it sounds quite interesting’, only to suddenly begin to doubt our own sanity.”

“But no. No, we are not going to Ecobuild.”

“Please, fuck off.”

The conference organisers responded to the joint statement with a mailout to all UNISON, PCS and GMB members, reading, “Thanks for expressing an interest in Ecobuild – the world’s biggest event for sustainable development, design and the built environment. While this year’s conference is now over, rest assured that we’ll put you on our mailing list for 2013 – making sure that between now and next March you’ll be sent regular, up-to-the-minute information on speakers, exhibitors and other joining information. Unfortunately, you cannot unsubscribe from this list for logistical reasons.”

The three unions subsequently issued a further statement reading simply, “Shit.”

 

 

 

 

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