Women absolutely love being knocked about a bit

by articulatedsheep

By intrepid Daily Mail correspondent, Carol Sarler (whose original article can be found here)

I am an idiot. An idiot – at the very least – for suggesting that it might somehow be alright for men to physically assault women.

I could be so good for you. Or not.

But, in many respects, it’s not that surprising. When my boss called me into the editorial suite this morning and said, “Quick Carol – bash out some rubbish about Dennis Waterman hitting Rula Lenska. And make it as morally reprehensible as possible – we need to get those page views up”, I knew there was only one course of action I could take.

Although there can never be any reasoned excuse for brute force, please bear with me while I try to tortuously build one.

Take my friend Jean – not her real name, because I’ve just made her up. Jean is a fiercely clever woman who was in a string of relationships with a series of men who beat her up. The interesting thing is that her partners were all absolute sweeties, who, when not with her and when in relationships with other women, didn’t hurt a fly. Obviously, I know this because I am an expert on all these men’s relationship histories before and since.

This is pretty telling. Jean – and I’m sure she won’t mind my repeating this confidence in a national newspaper, given the fact that, as I made clear above, she doesn’t exist – told me as much herself. She said that, “with a bit of a slap, you know who wears the trousers, don’t you?”

Because, let’s face it, there are some women who absolutely love this kind of treatment. They goad and provoke their husbands in unreasonable ways – by going out to work, talking to other men, not having dinner on the table at 6pm on the dot, writing columns in national newspapers – because, ultimately, they are willing participants in a good-natured tussle that will inevitably end with a frenzied bout of “make-up” sex afterwards [subs – could we have a bizarre, large picture on the website illustrating this point even more crassly, please?]

You could say that this suggests that I can’t distinguish between ‘a heated argument’ and ‘a physical assault’, or understand that consensual rough sex is not exactly the same as a physically abusive relationship based on power and dominance. But I would disagree with you – probably because I am a dimwit. Instead, I would draw a line of demarcation somewhere between what I tweely describe as “two-little-slaps” and “full-blown domestic violence”, neither of which terms I choose to define.

So, it’s completely unfair to lay all the blame at the door of the man doing the beating in this situation. Ultimately, women have to take their share of the blame too. Women need to be less shrill, less assertive, and more comfortable with the idea of social, political and sexual dominance by men.

The rot set in with the Married Women’s Property Act – since then, every female has considered it her God-given right to be uppity and forthright in her dealings with men when – by rights – she should be meek, submissive and docile. Answering back should get you a swift cuff across the face – and if this means that you end up weeping in front of a mirror while you desperately try to cover up the welts with a heavy layer of foundation, well, more fool you.

Now that we’re at the end of the article I’m going to pull back slightly and wrongfoot you by suggesting that “zero tolerance” for domestic violence is the only possible solution to this problem. Yes, I realise that this is entirely at odds with the rest of my piece – but I would perhaps point out that what I am trying to say is that women who are a bit up for the rough treatment are too stupid or silly to walk away from an abusive situation. Which therefore makes it their fault.

Hope that’s cleared it up for everyone.


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