Nicolas Cage vs Reality

by unpseudable

Nicolas Cage: scary mask

The usually entirely rational Nicolas Cage has admitted to wearing a voodoo mask on the set of the Ghost Rider sequel. According to the actor, he was worried about “feeling ridiculous”. Sources close to the actor suggest there had been some miscommunication, and what he actually meant was “because he wanted to feel ridiculous”.

During filming, Cage reportedly stayed in character even when he wasn’t being filmed. He stated that it was to ensure that his character was “believable”. An anonymous source on set, however, claimed that he was “definitely successful in making himself less believable. So maybe, you know, by comparison it worked.”

He gathered weird totemic crap to wear, sewing it into his clothing, and got some rocks that, according to Cage, “had a frequency in the new age community. It can stimulate your imagination and your psyche to believe you’re the Ghost Rider. But no, wait! No, you’re not Ghost Rider. I am Ghost Rider. In Ghost Rider I was not Ghost Rider. That was some other guy. Or maybe me. But in this Ghost Rider I am. Ghost Rider. Doesn’t that blow your mind, man?”

On set the wag wouldn’t speak to anyone, and took pleasure from seeing the fear in the other actors’ eyes. “It only inspired me more to believe I was this spirit from another dimension,” he wittered. Which he just might be.

The ‘actor’, in his continuing excursion away from reality, is ironically now “interested in the truth”. As such, he’s “beginning to like the word actor less and less”. And when the term is applied to Mr Cage, TMB fully agrees.


Puzzling over what to do this weekend? TMB offers its first Film Review.

The Wicker Man (2006)
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn

Are you fucking kidding? I didn’t watch it. I didn’t want to sully the original in such an unholy way. Or my soul. Avoid it at all costs, you idiot.

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