Last week’s Radio Times £799 on ebay

by philapilus
Royal Marines snipers with L115A1 sniper rifle

The most popular Google search this week is 'Marines with their weapons out". Pictures like this cause great disappointment

Women and open-minded men across the country have been bidding so ferociously for copies of last week’s Radio Times, that the magazine has reached the reserve price on ebay of almost eight hundred pounds.

The egregious rag, with its pages and pages of thoroughly unenlightening articles when all you really need is a list of the programmes for God’s sake, featured a large group-photograph of some Royal Marines in nothing but their shorts.

“Basically, I opened the magazine, expecting the usual shite interview with Barbara Windsor, and suddenly there is this picture of all these men with bodies like demi-gods,” said regular reader, Theresa May, “I don’t mind admitting I called in sick, and was intimate with that picture on the sofa when my husband went off to work.”

“I went to my local newsagent and bought every copy of it he had!” said large commedienne Dawn french (who isn’t funny so probably we should have just written ‘…said large Dawn French’).

She continued, “Mr Patel said ‘can I keep just one back, for Thierry Henri? He always buys his here.’ But I said ‘They’re not Thierry’s; they’re mine.'”

Christ almighty.

But though the issue was incredibly popular amongst magazine onanists everywhere, it wasn’t until this week’s Radio Times made a statement about it that the issue became an ebay phenomenon.

The magazine, displaying a sheer genius marketing strategy, printed an apology this week saying, “If you look really closely at last week’s photo you can see one of the Marines has totally got his thing out. Seriously, go and check. We’re really sorry. It was definitely an accident. But if you haven’t seen it yet, you might as well have a look. Sorry though. But do try and get hold of a copy. Sorry.”

“What they have done here,” said Joan Rivers, a woman with a face straight from Dorian Gray’s painting, “is toy with everyone who saw the picture and didn’t at first notice the little prawn-shaped winkie poking out. Some people might even have chucked the magazine without seeing it. So now everyone wants a copy, and they have got the resale value of the magazine up by like a bazillion per cent or something. I paid a fortune for this copy here.

“Excuse me, I need some alone-time now.”

As well as providing great self-publicity, the magazine has also managed to arouse hopes amongst fans of the male form everywhere that they might be slipping a few more pictures of men with their cocks out into future issues.

Arthur Schopenhauer, Celebrity Features and Picture Editor of the Radio Times said in an interview “We really didn’t mean this to happen. But you know, we just never have time to check the pictures. And so many images of big, scantily-clad, burly men to put in issues over the next few months. Why, mercy me, I bet I won’t have time to check any of them. Not one. Not a single sausage. Pardon the pun. Who knows what you might end up seeing in the RT?

“Know what I mean?”

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