Archive for February 5th, 2014

February 5, 2014

Facebook predicts your imminent death

by philapilus

Thanks for playing

Facebook confirmed today that it is using a montage of your postings and on-site activities, the so-called  ‘Facebook Movie’, to bring you a gentle, hopefully moving, summation of your life – primarily because you are about to die.

A spokesperson for the social media giant said “You may have seen a number of your friends posting a video, with

February 5, 2014

Joyful London declares ‘Bob Crow for Mayor’

by philapilus

‘You utter bastards’

Many Londoners were ecstatic this morning in their support for Bob Crow and striking Underground workers, and called for immediate elections, to install the rotund trade unionist as mayor.

Striking London Underground employee, Cob Brow, said “Bob is the best of us. He nestles us in his rolls of flesh like a mother hen taking chicks under her wing.

“If it wasn’t for this brilliant and meaningful strike, which will achieve all our goals in one fell swoop, we would be hurled into the indifferent maw of the BoJo monster.”

But not everyone shared this

February 5, 2014

Big Benefits Row voted best television programme of 2014

by philapilus

‘Phwooaarr!’ as John Major used to say. Not just a hottie, but she knows what she’s talking about, too.

Channel 5’s Big Benefits Row, and its presenter, Matthew Wright, have been given special one-off  awards by BAFTA, in recognition of the enormous and profound impact on the issue of welfare reform that the programme achieved.

A statement from BAFTA said that “Matthew Wright presided over a calm, measured, and insightful debate, which he masterfully arbitrated.

“The titular ‘row’ was more of an exercise in Socratic method, with Wright helping an audience of extremely well-qualified celebrities to reach such important and unarguably correct conclusions, that Iain Duncan Smith himself has

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