The international community has expressed grave concerns today, after an official photograph of North Korean military forces showed worrying signs of having been digitally manipulated.
US intelligence experts say they fear that North Korea may possess previously unguessed-at levels of technological competency, and might even have Windows ’98.
Whilst some observers suggest that an apparently Photoshopped image of a few hovercraft landing on a beach seems the work of a pathetically self-deluding bunch of tossers, nations with large military industrial complexes have explained how this definitively proves the need for large military industrial complexes.
Colonel Sanders, of the US Defence & Fried Chicken Intelligence Agency, said “We believe that the North Koreans not only have a working computer hidden somewhere within their borders, but probably also have a copy of Photoshop Elements. As this is often bundled in with printers, it is possible they may even have one of those as well.
“From this we are piecing together a very disturbing picture, and it is our belief that right now, even as I am speaking to you, somewhere in North Korea is a second-hand IKEA desk with a computer on it, capable of digitally altering a picture within 45 minutes, a picture capable eventually of reaching American families and children.
“I must advise you all to be afraid, be very afraid. Build bomb shelters, hold your families close, and remember to vote Republican.”
But some anaylsts say this is scaremongering. Tim Twanks, an unemployed military commentator, commented “This country of starving, maltreated peasants run by batshit-mad, fuckwit dictators, is simply reacting to increased sanctions, and the blundered posturing of the US and South Korean militaries.
“And anyway, even if they do have a computer, it’s not like they have any electricity to run it on, is it?”
Either way, one thing is for certain, Pyongyang is once again showing the world exactly how much strength it has.